Fanny Packs & Gambling

I am currently on the student council retreat in Changzhou (Ch-ahng-Jo), which is a 2 hour drive away from Shanghai.  This is a 3-day retreat for the students to learn leadership skills and to grow in unity. You can read about last year’s retreat here.  This year, I have already noticed some amazing things about our students and their leadership styles.  However, I have also learned 2 important lessons about culture:

Lesson Number One: Intentions & Appearances Can Be Interpreted Differently From One Culture To Another

As we were waiting for other ISC schools to arrive at the Shanghai Hongqiao airport, we sat at a large booth at KFC for about 4 hours.  The 8 of us set our luggage aside, cleared the table, and set out a deck of cards.  We had just gotten off a plane and the students were ready for some games and interaction.  Damian mentions to me that we should order some food or drinks while we wait, so I get out 400 kuai (about 65 dollars) on the table. 

We start the discussion of which student will order for everyone and we remind them to get receipts.  Just as our conversation completes, a KFC waitress comes by, looks at us and the table and says that we can’t play cards.  We were confused, and asked what she meant.  She clarified that she meant gambling (This is all in Chinese, of course).  The students were confused.  I was confused.  We all looked at each other to try to understand.   Then we look down. At the table.  With cards.  And 400 kuai.   We all laugh nervously and explain that we are about to buy food at KFC, and then play cards.  No gambling.  She smiled and walked away, although she did keep a close eye on us throughout the 4 hours.  Rightly so, though, because our team was quite loud playing Egyptian Ratscew. 

Lesson Number Two: The Same Word in Two Different Cultures Can Mean Completely Different Things

In one activity, the student councilors received about 5 or 7 small items in a bag. Their goal was to create a product and come up with a sales pitch.  With the colored paper, buttons, and string, they created a woman’s handbag. 

In the naming-the-product conversation, the idea of a fanny pack arose, to which Damian’s face turned bright red.  Him and I started laughing (I have know that “fanny” isn’t the best choice of words around him for a while now).  The students didn’t know why we were laughing, so after some prompting, and more blushing, Damian explains, “In Australia, and Britain, and South Africa, we don’t call …a fanny …it’s…not something you have on your backside.  It’s actually…  a frontside.   Of a female.”  Nervous laughter ensued, and the topic quickly changed.

These humorous experiences happen daily as I experience cross-cultural ideals in nearly every interaction.  What an awesome blessing to have these experiences (as funny or embarrassing as they may be), to understand the people and the world around me. 

The Start of a New Year

Much has happened since I’ve last written.  Summer has left us, and the school year has returned with a swinging vengeance.  The last week has been meetings at school, getting my office cleaned up, and getting my act together.  Along with the second year of doing anything, comes corrected expectations and knowledge of what is to come.   

So, what is to come?  Well to name a few, here’s what happening…

•  Student led IT conference at the school
• PTO Welcome Picnic
• Color Day
• Hat Day
• Student Council Retreat (in Wuxi)
• Overnight High School Girls Fall Retreat (Nearby)
• Training for Student Services (in Tianjin)
• VIDA spiritual retreat for High School students (Nearby)
• Global Village Day 

...All Before October!

Can I do this?   I did it last year while dog paddling through Chinese culture and making friends… So, yes, I’m excited to do it now, after having some experience under my belt and some amazing friends to support me and pray with me.

First, what is on my heart, is the student council.   These are an amazing 11 students who do leadership in almost everyone of these previously listed events.  We will have a meeting Wednesday afternoon, to open up some discussion about leadership and what they’d like to accomplish this year.  

The meeting will begin with a video about “The Single Story,” which I have previously mentioned in my blog.   This year, for these 11 students on student council, it would be a mistake to “single story” anyone in our school—it would prevent relationships and cause divisions.  It would be a mistake for them to “single story” anyone else on the student council team—it would greatly affect their leadership and ability to work with one another.  It would be a mistake to “single story” themselves—they would struggle to see their worth in Christ and their ability to lead and minister to others.

Be in prayer with me for these 11 students.  They have a lot of work ahead of them, and I am excited to get to know them, encourage them, and serve alongside them.

• Andrew – USA - President
• Sarah – USA - VP
• Sara – Korea - Secretary
• John – Korea - Treasurer
• Eric – Korea – Chaplain
• Jina – USA - Chaplain
• Eddie - Korea - 12th grade rep
• Jane – USA – 11^th grade rep
• Stephanie – USA – 10^th grade rep
• Kevin – Korea – 9^th grade rep
• Jessy – Korea – 9^th grade rep

Mei You

It was a Saturday morning, I should have known better.  I should have planned better.  But no.  Not me.

Saturday morning, I went shopping for peanut butter.  I was originally looking for a chocolate/peanut butter combo... but I soon realized I was not in the right place.  Regular peanut butter will have to do.  The peanut butter was a welcome back present for a friend who recently returned to Qingdao after her summer vacation.

An important lesson I learned today, if I’m going to the store for a specific item, I should learn the Chinese word for that item before I go.  This small task could save me hours of time. 

So, this past Saturday morning, I went to Jusco.  If you know anything about Jusco, you probably just gasped or moaned, or had some kind of noise that was a combination of the two.

Jusco is a massive grocery store that holds a massive amount of people, especially on the weekends.  It’s loud.  It’s large. It’s inconvenient.  It’s… not my favorite place to be.  

After a few minutes of roaming the aisles, I found the desired Ritz crackers. No problem there.  However, going through each aisle multiple times, I still could not locate the coveted Skippy Peanut Butter.  So, after 20 minutes of looking for it...I decided to resort to my broken Chinese and charades.

In Jusco, there are at least 2 or 3 workers in each aisle to help out with the crowds.  I stopped in the aisle with nuts, and thought, “This may be a good conversation starter.”

I pointed at nuts and asked the smiling lady in uniform, "Wo yao zheige, danshi...." (I want this, but...) and made a spreading motion with my hands.  And I pointed to my hands and said, "Mian bao" (bread).  She said a few sentences, to which I just said yes, because I didn’t know what else to say.  Then, she took me on a mission a few aisles away.  There was hope; I think she understands!  She proudly took me to …the jams.  

I was getting closer.

I can work with this.

I laughed, keeping a light attitude, knowing that this was not going to be easy.  I politely said "Dui, zheiga he..."  (Yes, this with) making the spreading motion again.

The lady stared at me with big confused eyes, and a smile that made me really like her.

And that’s when I heard it.  Music to my ears, warmness to my soul… it had to be an angel…

“I speak English. What do you need?”

I turned around, and a lovely Chinese lady stood there, ready and willing to help a helpless foreigner. 

I gave her the biggest smile, and almost a hug, and I said proudly (probably too loudly), “Peanut butter!!!  I’m looking for peanut butter!”

“Oh, I know peanut butter.”  She turns to the store lady, and says something about “Hua Sheng Jiang,” which now I know is the Chinese word for peanut butter.

By this time, there is a gathering of Jusco ladies, waiting to hear what exactly I was looking for.   Once they heard, “Hua Sheng Jiang,” they all smiled and laughed and pointed to the neighboring aisle.  The lady took me to the oil aisle, and gave me a jar of Chinese peanut butter.  I was very grateful that she understood what I wanted, however, Chinese peanut butter is nothing like Skippy. I asked, “Ni you meiyou, Meiguo De?”  (Do you have American?)   She was unsure, and said a few other things I didn’t understand.  So, we went back to the crowd of Jusco ladies and asked if there was American peanut butter.  The response was quick …and painful.  

“Meiyou.”  

I know that word very well.

After 30 minutes of searching, confusion, and laughter… they did not have any American peanut butter.

I should have known. I should have planned better.  But no. Not me. 

This is the life I lead.  What an adventurous Saturday morning!!!

But....I hope my friend still enjoys her Ritz crackers, “meiyou” “hua sheng jian.”

Grief

I experienced extreme moments of sadness today, mixed with busyness and mind-numbing activities.  I'm filled with thoughts today--none are congruent, nothing is fully developed, and little is on the same topic.  My thoughts take me to different places and various moods.  To be around people is a chore. To use my brain in Chinese class is exhausting. To sleep is precious. To be lazy is desired, just as much as busyness gives purpose.  I have never felt this way before, at least not to this degree.  I suppose this is grief.

Even in this moment, I must acknowledge Christ, because in a world of change and hurt, He is the only true Constant.  And in this moment, I must pray.   Even when I'm not sure how to pray.  Or what to pray.

"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

"We'll Be Best Friends Someday!"

I cannot describe what I felt when I got the e-mail from my mother.  There was a strong sense of shock and disbelief, and then an incredible amount of sadness, grief, and regret.

I put my hand over my mouth, not wanting to cry because if I did, I didn’t think I could stop.  Ben came to my side and I buried myself in his arms, not wanting to believe what I just read.

To say my grandpa was the backbone of our family is an understatement.  If he was in the room, you could bet there’d be smiling, laughing, petty fighting, and probably some drinking and swearing, too, …but the kind of swearing you just laugh at and ignore.  Even in his old age, my grandpa was the life of the party.  If he wasn’t there, it simply wasn’t the same.  And it won’t be the same again.

When I was young, my grandparents lived in Las Vegas, so until we visited them, I was “scared” of my grandpa.  I’m not sure why… I think I was unsure of most older men at that young age.  However, I remember specifically when we got off the plane in Las Vegas for our first visit to them, my dad asked me to hold hands with grandpa, because he’d like that.  I reluctantly obeyed, and even though my grandpa always said we’d be “best friends someday,” I didn’t believe it then.  Suffice it to say, those trips to see my grandparents paid off, and when they moved back to Omaha, I was blessed to have many amazing memories with them over the years. 

Grandma and Grandpa Mancuso on Our Wedding Day.  

When he first met Ben, the first thing my grandpa asked was, "How old are you?"  Ben answered, "18."   "Eighteen!!  Well, when I was 18, I was married and had 2 kids already!"  Ben laughed awkwardly and said something like, "Well, not yet for me!"  After that, my grandpa had nicknamed him "Gentle Ben," which is the name of a bear in a children's story.

Here is something my cousin posted on facebook.  When I read it, I felt exactly what she was saying,

“We're all promised 3 score and a few more. And we've had more than our share together!” said my Grampa to my Gramma as we had lunch together this past Thursday, smiling and giggling together at the fact that they were celebrating their 55 wedding anniversary. It's with an incredibly heavy heart that I report that he passed away very suddenly this morning. One of the funniest, most generous, and vivacious men this world will truly ever know. If you knew him, you were blessed. He taught me so much about life and I'm grateful I was able to spend so much time with him recently. Still, one of the hardest things is knowing he'll never know my husband or see my children grow up - or rather, they'll never know him and the amazing love he bestowed on all those he knew. "We're all just penciled in," he always used to say. And he's right. I encourage you to live your life with purpose and full of love today. Seek after truth and the abundant life that comes from knowing Jesus. Don't waste it. After all, you never know when it will end - because we're all just penciled in.

The most difficult thing through this is not that I’m across the world, or that we were suppose to Skype sometime soon.  The hardest thing is not the memories or the regret of not making as many as I could have.  The hardest thing is not thinking about how my mother or grandmother must feel.  Although all of those things are terrible and saddening…..  

Grandma & Grandpa with all of their kids!

The hardest thing is knowing that my grandfather was not a believer.  Although I sincerely hope that he was, I have not seen fruit saying that he ever made that decision.  Although he was full of life and love and servanthood and graciousness, it seems that was all God’s mercy working in his life, rather than the work of Jesus in his heart. 

I am incredibly saddened at the sudden death of my grandfather. I really cannot say anymore.   

The Life of the Party, chasing around the great grandchildren!

Loving on the great grand kids!!

Dancing with his grandkids at another family wedding!