A Stepping Stone: "We'll Be Best Friends Someday!"

I cannot describe what I felt when I got the e-mail from my mother. There was a strong sense of shock and disbelief, and then an incredible amount of sadness, grief, and regret.

I put my hand over my mouth, not wanting to cry because if I did, I didn’t think I could stop. Ben came to my side and I buried myself in his arms, not wanting to believe what I just read.

To say my grandpa was the backbone of our family is an understatement. If he was in the room, you could bet there’d be smiling, laughing, petty fighting, and probably some drinking and swearing, too, …but the kind of swearing you just laugh at and ignore. Even in his old age, my grandpa was the life of the party. If he wasn’t there, it simply wasn’t the same. And it won’t be the same again.

When I was young, my grandparents lived in Las Vegas, so until we visited them, I was “scared” of my grandpa. I’m not sure why… I think I was unsure of most older men at that young age. However, I remember specifically when we got off the plane in Las Vegas for our first visit to them, my dad asked me to hold hands with grandpa, because he’d like that. I reluctantly obeyed, and even though my grandpa always said we’d be “best friends someday,” I didn’t believe it then. Suffice it to say, those trips to see my grandparents paid off, and when they moved back to Omaha, I was blessed to have many amazing memories with them over the years.

Grandma and Grandpa Mancuso on Our Wedding Day.

When he first met Ben, the first thing my grandpa asked was, "How old are you?" Ben answered, "18." "Eighteen!! Well, when I was 18, I was married and had 2 kids already!" Ben laughed awkwardly and said something like, "Well, not yet for me!" After that, my grandpa had nicknamed him "Gentle Ben," which is the name of a bear in a children's story.

Here is something my cousin posted on facebook. When I read it, I felt exactly what she was saying,

“We're all promised 3 score and a few more. And we've had more than our share together!” said my Grampa to my Gramma as we had lunch together this past Thursday, smiling and giggling together at the fact that they were celebrating their 55 wedding anniversary. It's with an incredibly heavy heart that I report that he passed away very suddenly this morning. One of the funniest, most generous, and vivacious men this world will truly ever know. If you knew him, you were blessed. He taught me so much about life and I'm grateful I was able to spend so much time with him recently. Still, one of the hardest things is knowing he'll never know my husband or see my children grow up - or rather, they'll never know him and the amazing love he bestowed on all those he knew. "We're all just penciled in," he always used to say. And he's right. I encourage you to live your life with purpose and full of love today. Seek after truth and the abundant life that comes from knowing Jesus. Don't waste it. After all, you never know when it will end - because we're all just penciled in.

The most difficult thing through this is not that I’m across the world, or that we were suppose to Skype sometime soon. The hardest thing is not the memories or the regret of not making as many as I could have. The hardest thing is not thinking about how my mother or grandmother must feel. Although all of those things are terrible and saddening…..

Grandma & Grandpa with all of their kids!

The hardest thing is knowing that my grandfather was not a believer. Although I sincerely hope that he was, I have not seen fruit saying that he ever made that decision. Although he was full of life and love and servanthood and graciousness, it seems that was all God’s mercy working in his life, rather than the work of Jesus in his heart.

I am incredibly saddened at the sudden death of my grandfather. I really cannot say anymore.