When Cultures Collide

There are few things that go as deep and as personal as culture.  It’s the lens in which one views the world, the way others are perceived, the values that are held close. Culture goes deep enough to define identity, and is strong enough to form lifelong bonds.  As I wrestle with thoughts of culture, I wonder what happens when cultures collide, not just within a country or even within a school. What happens when cultures collide within one person’s body, within one person’s soul?

This weekend, I was privileged to be taught by Josephine Kim, a Korean-American woman who received her PhD in counselor education from University of Virginia.  She currently teaches at Harvard and has a non-profit organization called Mustard Seed Generation, which helps struggling Koreans and Korean-Americans.  She is one of the few bi-lingual Korean-American counselors in the U.S.  In 2007, she was the main counselor/consultant involved in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shooting, since Seung-Hui Cho was Korean-American. 

We covered a variety of topics over 2 intensive days.  These topics were hot-spots for us; topics that need to be discussed, but often are not; topics that are difficult, offensive, personal, and seemingly impossible to implement….

• How to reach TCK’s—Third Culture Kids 
• National staff and foreign staff relationships
• The “Speaking English Only” policy at our school 
• (The only time the staff interact with the Korean language is to give a punishment. What does that say to our Korean students?)
• Respect ...and what that means for different cultures
• Korean Suicide Rates 
• (Number 1 in the world. After a Korean celebrity committed suicide, 7,000 Koreans committed suicide within a 2 month time span)
• The generational gap, especially between Asian parents and their children
• At ISQ, should Bible classes be optional or mandatory?  Does this inoculate them to the Gospel?
• Asian Fail - An Asian student receiving a grade lower than their parent's (or their own) standard.



If you google "Korean Father" you may get
images like this one.  Josephine showed these
images to Korean fathers, and they were
floored, mortified, and saddened.

• Embracing culture vs. tolerating culture
• Creating a safe space for cultural competency
• **The danger of “the single story” 
• The normal Korean family model
• **How to teach empathy to our students (and how to model it) 
• Oppression (in forms that we would never think of)
• Cultural sensitivity and appropriateness

I walk away humbly from this seminar, because… not only do I “not know it all,” but really, I’m not sure of anything.  As Jerry Jones (our wonderful consultant for the school) explained, “I have to be understanding of my own ignorance,” which spoke volumes to me, because he’s been in China for nearly 10 years and seems to have it down pretty well.  

When I got a moment to speak to Josephine, I said, “There’s so much that I don’t know.  I’m so new at what I do.  And right now, I really hate being an American.  I was never taught to think globally.  I never even related to my own culture, I never thought of myself as ‘an American.’ Now, all of the sudden, I have this culture that is so deep and so ingrained in me… Everything I do is ‘American.’ The way I think, the way I behave, the way I believe that I have it all together and that I’m right.  My way is right and your way is wrong.  I was taught by my own culture to be ethnocentric, and I don’t know how to be any different.”

In the seminar, we had about 20 people… White Americans, Koreans, Korean-Americans, Chinese, and an Australian. There were so many different view-points and at times wounded souls in the room.  At the end of the day, I talked with my Chinese friend before we left.  I asked for her thoughts, but she was still processing so much information that she couldn’t formulate much into words.  But what she did say was insightful, “I felt very uncomfortable.  I cannot just speak what I’m thinking, because people are poking at my wounds and asking me to share about this personal thing. I’m not ready to talk about it.”   

Like I said in the beginning...There are few things that go as deep and as personal as culture. 

My Chinese friend and I agreed to go out for coffee soon to discuss some of these things… building a bridge to start the conversation, start the healing and start the growing…  

This weekend was very powerful, and I hope that we can carry these hopes, emotions, and dreams into building something that will last in our students and staff.  Please pray for that in our school… And in my life.

_______

** PLEASE spend a moment to watch these videos.  They were very important to me this weekend as I processed all these things.